Question

Describe the 3 R’s model of anger management with the help of an example.

Answer 1

Anger management is an intervention/program that aims to keep anger from becoming a habit or an impediment. It fosters awareness and the willingness to accept responsibility for one's feelings.

Effective anger management involves two aspects:

1. Managing one's own anger
2. Learning to respond effectively to anger in others.

Anger management provides the ability to assess, regulate and control anger in addition to utilizing one's natural capacity for reasoned thought and sound decision-making. Anger management is approached in various ways.

The 3R's in anger management are Relax, Reassess and Respond: 

1. Relaxation and Connection with the inner self: It directly increases clarity of thought, attention and concentration.When you are upset, you are susceptible, therefore you develop assumptions and make judgments in a storm. Participating in power-boosting activities such as meditation, music, hobbies, social work, etc. Intentionally places your body in a calm, steady state and gives you time to recuperate from your rage. You can see everything clearly. This stage prepares you to respond rather than react impulsively.
2. Reassess: Now that the mind is relaxed you can revisit the situation objectively and figure out exactly what is happening? how is it affecting you? whether an action needs to be taken and what action should it be?
   Feelings Thermometer
   
   • Take complete responsibility for your emotion: Rather than blaming someone else for it. This enables you to recognize your emotions and behaviors. You are not accepting responsibility for the other person's decisions and sentiments, nor are you surrendering or defending yourself, nor are you acknowledging it is your fault. You are simply paying attention and moving your focus to your demands that were not met in a certain setting. As an example, suppose your best friend lied to you. In this situation, you feel mistreated, upset and disappointed without being able to judge what is good or bad. You will be able to manage how you behave and respond to that friend now that you are aware of it.
   • Developing empathy: Understanding that your enemy, like you, is dealing with painful emotions can also help you slow down your anger. You would have calmed down in your rage meter by the time you reached this stage of reassessment.
   • Using compassion: Everybody is fighting their own emotional struggle. It helps you control your anger when you realize that they are also people with flaws and can make mistakes. For example, you may decide to sever ties with the friend who misled you, and that seems like a really rational decision. It is up to you to determine what kind of behavior you will and won't put up with. Establish limits and then let go.
   • Conduct a Reality check: If you take stock of the circumstances, you'll be in a better position to control your fury. Examine the circumstances objectively and from all angles to understand what transpired. Before deciding on a course of action or making a decision, you should take a step back from your initial assessments and get more information. Important questions to ask yourself, for example:
     1. How important is the friend to you now that you have faced a situation involving him or her?
     2. Is your anger justified given the facts what happened? Would an average person get angry, faced with the same situation?
     3. Why did your best friend lie to you. What were the compelling circumstances? Did you have any role to play in it?
     4. Is the situation modifiable or something you can do to change it for the better
     5. Is it worth your time and effort?
3. Respond: Use your rage to motivate you to make a difference. Anger is saying something to you. This is the point at which you re-engage with the other party or situation in order to resolve the disagreement.

1. Consult: A trusted family member, elder sibling or another friend's thoughts or advice on how to approach the circumstance can be beneficial.
2. Engage talks with the other party: This method necessitates a great deal of mindfulness. You must remain cool, polite and respectful at all times, with nice facial gestures and the desire to attend a meeting to discuss the situation that sparked the rage.
3. Active listening: Before you can convey your wants, worries and opinions, you must provide the other person a platform to voice theirs. Being an active listener allows you to communicate and solve problems more efficiently.
4. Speak assertively: You stand up for your emotions and feelings while exhibiting the same for the other person.This is exactly the proper technique and attitude to take because it is a positive communication style that is practical and yields meaningful and satisfying results for both.
5. Cage your Rage: Protect yourself from escalation of your own rage.When you are angry, you have a tremendous desire to hurt the other person. Instead of inciting the other person's rage, work on tempering your own and allowing the other to speak up until they cool down. It is critical to set clear boundaries regarding how you wish to be treated by the other person.

Anger management is a skill that must be practiced, therefore keeping track of how you handled this emotion will offer you a sense of pride and accomplishment. It will enable you to improve and expand your social skills, manage conflicting situations, achieve your goals, and realize your life's desires and ambitions.